Alexandra Konstanti

Bachata is a genre of dance that hails from the Dominican Republic, born in the 1960s. It’s a partner dance where the leader initiates the moves and guides the follower through an exchange of moves- almost like a dancing communication.

Over the years, bachata has blossomed into many unique styles. We’ve got Traditional Bachata, Modern Bachata, and then Sensual Bachata. Let’s not forget the meta-styles that pull from other dance genres, adding their own flavor to bachata’s rhythm.

Bachata music tells stories of love, heartbreak, and those intense emotions that come with both. That’s Amargura– in Spanish- a touch of bitterness that gives bachata its soulful essence.

Life, too, feels a bittersweet symphony. Especially, life abroad is exactly the same, exciting but sometimes tough. Building new relationships, navigating cultural differences, and dealing with feelings of isolation or loneliness is challenging. And expats have found many fun ways to deal with that. One of them is social dances like bachata. Dance schools organize workshops, seminars, dance events where people from all walks of life meet. It’s a celebration of diversity where people connect through expression and love of the music.

The Follower

Experiencing dance as a follower, I have had many struggles, mostly mental, though some physical too. I found myself often wondering if I follow efficiently, especially when I was realizing (milliseconds later) that I’ve missed the move that the leader “showed” me to do.

In my early steps, this blame was always on me. It was my fault that I did not understand the move, and that was able to ruin my whole night. I was assuming that I have also ruined the leader’s dance and probably the leader thinks I am stupid. Were you in any aspect of your life in this situation? It was a burden for me, and I felt that maybe, I don’t do for that.

But I didn’t give up. I pushed through the doubts, determined to improve. As I gained more experience, I came to two important realizations:

1. Experience brings confidence. Is like when you are so young, and for the first time you fall in love, and… the relationship ends poorly, and… you wonder what you did wrong. But then other relationships come and… you get it! I could understand that it wasn’t just me when things went wrong. Many times, the leader lacked the experience or clarity to guide me effectively.
2. Different leaders bring different results. As I continued dancing with experienced leaders, I enjoyed more because they led me clearly and decisively. However, it wasn’t just about skill. These leaders also paid attention to OUR connection. They didn’t just try to execute moves perfectly—they cared about how I felt during the dance. Interestingly, I also found this connection with some less experienced leaders who prioritized fun and communication over perfect execution.

Does it any of these rings a bell in some aspect of life? I did my own comparisons. You may have your own. Or not.

As I continue dancing, I learn more about my preferences, how I like to blend my style with my partner’s, and how important it is to feel respected and seen. Leaders need to know they’re not alone in the dance. It’s a partnership. Otherwise, we could have picked the solo.

The Leader

Leading comes with its own set of challenges. Leaders need to think ahead, choosing which moves to execute, maintaining the right pace, and guiding their partner with intention and clarity. It’s a delicate balance—leading with confidence while being gentle and attuned to your partner’s needs.

Discussing with leaders, I could understand they face similar struggles:

1. Experienced followers tend to take the lead! They can understand very fast their less experienced leader’s intentions and perform the move fast. “I don’t want to dance alone”, a leader told me. An experienced follower takes many initiatives, and actually… takes the leadership!
2. Backleading breaks the flow. When followers try to guess or anticipate the move of the leaders, the dance loses its flow. The leaders end up feeling troubled about their leading skills. Worse, the mistake of the leader is not communicated, thus not comprehended. The leader doesn’t have the chance to improve their own leading ways.

Does this remind you of any situations in life?

The Dance Of Life

Leaders and Followers. Noone of the two can be alone, it is a relationship. The goal isn’t to control or overpower, but to find a rhythm together. To not lose yourselves to each other but at the same time to lose them. It’s about sharing an experience, enjoying the connection, and having fun together. Followers can help leaders improve their skills by offering feedback or “saving” the dance when things go off track. Likewise, leaders should be attuned to their followers, leading with care rather than control. In the end, the dance isn’t about fancy moves or flashy techniques. It’s about energy, communication, a good deodorant! (after shower), and, most importantly, connection.

Just like in life.