Alexandra Konstanti

Recently, I dined at the best Asian restaurant I’ve ever experienced. I had never felt such bliss with gaozi and a gao dumpling before in my life. I shared this joy with my friends and launched into a discussion about the best food in town. “I’ve discovered the best durum in Copenhagen and the best sushi,” another friend said. The other friend nodded and responded, “You guys always do this—taste something and declare it the best in the city. But no, it’s not; it’s just very good. How do you know it’s the best? You need to keep looking!”

Our truth felt disrupted.

The thing is, both perspectives—declaring something the best or challenging that declaration—are rooted in comparison. But why do we feel the need to compare? And why do we need to share our feelings to validate the pleasure of the moment?

“Happiness is not in another place but this place… not for another hour, but this hour.” – Walt Whitman

When you love a city, a trip, a place, or even a burger, so many factors contribute to your enjoyment. It has to do with your mood, your state of life, the environment, the people you’re with, and the weather. When it comes to food, of course, your levels of appetite play an important role.

Who knows what your experience was when you ate the best burger of your life? Maybe you shared it with a loved one. Perhaps you were having a wonderful time at that dinner—the place was warm, the music perfect. Or maybe you were soaking wet from the rain, seeking shelter, and entered the restaurant in relief after an adventure.

And in that moment, that burger was the best. Not because the burger joint had discovered the golden recipe, but because the burger itself became the perfect combination of what you needed. Instead of its perfectly grilled patty, flavorful sauce, and melted cheddar, that burger carried comfort, joy, and warmth.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Then, someone comes along and disrupts this mental construction. “I can’t believe you liked that burger. It’s definitely not the best! I mean, come on—you’ve got to keep looking. There’s definitely a better one out there.”

Suddenly, you’re struggling to understand why others don’t share your feelings. And yes, there’s always the possibility that they’re right. Maybe there is a better burger somewhere in the city, and perhaps you are missing something.

Here comes the doubt of your experience. You start questioning yourself and this precious moment of yours starts, if not fading, but losing some of its initial glory.

“The best things in life are not things.” – Art Buchwald

This struggle for validation—this desperate need to justify your ultimate comparison—can cause misery. The joy you felt is diminished by the need to prove yourself right. And so, where is your moment now?

The truth is that maybe no one is trying to diminish your experience, they’re simply trying to protect their own. But what if we let go of that need to be right? What if we said instead, “I know there’s probably a better burger out there somewhere, but this burger made me so happy.”

With that shift in mindset, the moment returns—whole and pure—free from comparison.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci

In our days, comparison is everywhere. People compare themselves constantly with others that always seem to have it all on social media. We compare experiences, belongings, successes, even our personal “wokeness”. And the options are endless: to restaurants and ways of entertainment to love partners (Hey, Bumble and Tinder!). We are chasing the better, and keep on chasing the closest to perfection, until… “sky is the limit”!

We are told to keep on pushing- finding the perfect job, finding the perfect match, finding our best selves. But we often forget that simplicity comes with the moment, and the moment is the trick. That is why a simple slice of warm crispy bread with some olive oil, salt and oregano on top, made me so happy as a kid. For me it was the best meal in the world.

Next time I find myself declaring the best meal in town, I will stay in this sensation and enjoy it to the fullest. I will let others debate rankings while I savor my rare, delicious moment of life.

Do you have a best flavor in town?

Have you ever shared a joyful moment, only to feel it diminished by someone else’s opinion?

Feel free to share!